Remembering Kindness and Finding Solid Ground When Things Are Upside Down

man upside down on the hood of a van

One way to make things look upside down

Hmm…you say you want change? You wanna to step outside your comfort zone? See the world as you know it turned on it’s head?

Yea, I know, that was me that said all that. Well, I got it alright and I’m just now beginning to feel right side up again, solid ground beneath my feet.

I don’t want to sound negative because there have been good, exciting changes but as everyone knows, change can be hard and feel scary and uncomfortable, especially in the beginning.

In a nut shell, over the last 5 or 6 weeks, I got a my first full time job in over four years, had to let go of the shop girl gig and joined a local writers group.

All of that awesome, every little bit of it needed and overall scary as hell.
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Changes

beautiful women with butterflies flying from her hand outside

I’ve talked about change many times before, the fact that change is happening all around us, within us and that change is the only constant in life.

It’s something I used to be very resistant to. Change was (and still can be) scary. It’s unpredictable. It reminds me of how little I have control over and at times, how much I don’t know.

But a few months ago, I started wishing for change. Big change. More than wanting and needing it, I have absolutely been craving change from way down deep.

It had been building for a while but seemed to really come to the surface this summer. I felt stuck, like my feet were sinking in deep mud.
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4 Lessons Learned From the 30 Day Yoga Challenge

woman meditating near water

Woohoo – I did it and that rocked!

Waking up on Sunday morning and realizing it was day 30, the final day of the yoga challenge was a mix of surprise, joy and a little pride as well.

I really wasn’t sure about doing this and even more unsure that I would be able to stick with it. Now I can honestly say, it was one of the best things I’ve done and am SO glad I decided to commit and give it a try.

I have had a home practice for over a year now but I had never practiced daily before. As the weeks went on, I started to see real changes in myself, my thoughts, how I dealt with daily life and how much more peaceful and relaxed I felt overall.

Here are a few of things I learned along the way.
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Summer So Far

Dinner at the carnival

That’s dinner my friends….carnival style.

Happily, my worrying about how to keep busy this summer was for nothing. In fact, we’ve been so busy this month I’m way behind on most other things, this blog included (again).

It’s a relief though and I’m thankful for the fun things we’ve done so far as well as what’s to come – my husband’s birthday is next month and we’ll have another carnival to go to for the 4th of July.

our family riding the ferris wheel

our family ferris wheel ride

See, I’m basically carnival crazy. I really, really love them and always have. This year, my son caught the fever and had a blast at the two carnivals we’ve been to so far.

playing a carnival fishing game

fishing for prizes


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The Challenge

An Om symbol in the sand at a beach

Tomorrow…it begins.

“It” being the 30 day yoga challenge I signed up for at DoYouYoga.com. I wasn’t sure I was going to do it but had been playing with the idea for several days. That, along with the lack of getting off my butt on my own lead me to enter my email address on the sign up page and make the commitment.

I’m pretty nervous. I’m scared I won’t stay with it. I don’t know about you but my brain is really good at rationalizing excuses, even when it’s something I need to do and know I’ll be happier for.

A 30 day challenge is something I’ve never done and like most new things, the thought of it is causing some discomfort and worry. That’s not terrible though. One of the many things I hope to learn through this process is walking through those kinds of feelings, especially when it comes to new things or facing the unknown.

Because honestly, doing the actual yoga every day isn’t what I’m worried about. It’s all the mental garbage I’ll be confronting and shifting and learning to work with.
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Farewell Preschool

sun shining through toys at the park

This was our last week of school. The last day of for the kids was held at a nearby park which was really fun except that another school was already there with all of their kids and parents as well – oops!

Crowded and hectic, it was still a nice way for the kids to spend their last morning together; sliding, running and saying goodbye until the fall.

Today is our first Friday with no preschool. I am exhausted from working almost every night this week. I think Lou is a little out of sorts from the routine change, allergies and heck, it’s Friday.

Everyone is just kind of “done” by Friday sometimes.

I’ve been dreading summer break but although I don’t have a real plan for us yet, I’m feeling slightly optimistic.
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Putting a Ring On It – Does It Really Matter?

husband and wife, just married

I’m usually behind on celebrity gossip so I’m sure you’ve already heard all the hoopla about Halle Berry expecting baby number two. “So what’s the big deal” is what I was thinking until I read that she is 46 years old!

Yowza sister!

But the thing I’ve been wondering about is, if others take issue or have any opinion about her unmarried status.

As early on as I can remember, I always pictured myself as a mother. I never had any doubts that it was a part of what I wanted and who I was suppose to be. For some time, I pictured myself with many children, living in a happy, loving relationship.

But not married. That part I could not even imagine. I also thought and felt, it didn’t matter and wasn’t something I needed.

Rolling Goldie Hawn – Kurt Russell style, that’s what I used to say anyway.

To my own surprise, I did end up getting married. I’ve actually done it twice now. The first time, at the court house. The second time, in a beautiful backyard ceremony.
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Habits Part II – The Yoga Edition

21 day yoga challenge sign

Sometimes when you’re really thinking about something, have a strong intention or are struggling with a decision, signs appear.

That’s kind of what I thought of when I picked up a new yoga magazine and was drawn to the above image and message.

A few days later, I was at Do You Yoga and saw this:

30-Day Yoga Challenge with Erin Motz
Free online video yoga classes for 30 days. Sent directly to your email inbox.

Ok universe, I get it.

I have been putting a lot of energy in this direction because I know I really need to get back on track with yoga and will love it but now that I’m faced with the opportunity – yikes!

Because now, my pesky fears and insecurities start up with all the excuses, I mean “reasons” why I can’t do a challenge like this:
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Operation Summer Break

Children playing at a park with fountain in a city

I realized this morning as I looked at my son’s calendar that today marks the last full week of school before summer break begins.

Gulp.

Time seems to be moving at light speed lately, I guess that’s how the end of the school year was able to sneak right up that way. Needless to say, I don’t feel ready for summer and I am nervous about how to keep Lou busy, entertained and happy for the next three months.

Wait – three months? I have to check those numbers. Can that be right? I’m going to need an assistant. Can moms get assistants? Ok, I mean moms that can’t afford real nannies or assistants.

Sigh.

We really feel in love with preschool this year, both my son and myself. It’s only a half day for three days a week but wow, how sweet it has been.
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