After almost a week of falling off the exercise wagon, I climbed back on, determined to stay committed.
Yoga has become one of my favorite workouts but my first day back was surprisingly tough. Starting out, I was wobbly. My arms ached right away. The deep stretches I usually like, that ordinarily feel so good, now just felt like everything pulled too much and hurt.
What is going on? Exercise is one thing that usually goes right for me, one thing I’m good at and makes me feel good. After a single week away, this is where I’m at now?
I paused the DVD, took a drink of water, a deep breath and pressed play. The stretches were still hard, I was still wobbly and now I was a bit bothered by it but I stayed anyway, if for nothing else, to see what would happen if I did.
Then I remembered one of my favorite teachings from Buddhism – Impermanence.
Nothing is permanent, good or bad. Nothing stays exactly the same or lasts forever. The only constant is change.
This often comes to mind during the more challenging moments of yoga, like when my arms are shaking from trying to hold a stretch or pose. The only way to get through it is to breathe, relax the muscles that are tensing up and remind myself, I will get through this temporary, difficult moment. This will not last.
Once I do, the same thing happens every time. It gets better.
I breathe slowly, clear my mind, relax my shoulders and the poses start to flow.
It gets easier, I feel good again.
I wish remembered this more during difficult moments with my son. As soon as he starts to spiral in to a meltdown, my body reacts the same way with muscles tensing and a sudden urgency for flight or to just make the yelling, tantrum, arguing or whatever unpleasant thing that is happening – stop.
But the same thing that happens during the tougher parts of my workouts also happen with my son. The storm doesn’t last. His unhappiness or complaining or anger or frustration gets expressed and then is gone.
Taking slow, calm breaths, relaxing tensed muscles and reminding myself of the impermanence of the situation. This could work. It will work if I can remember and keep calm long enough to try it.
As far as yoga or any exercise goes, when I put this in to practice, I feel like a champ post-workout. Because I made it though and didn’t give up.
My shaky arms are stronger for it. My thighs that were burning are ready to walk, run and play over parks and play areas. There is a real feeling of inner power and self confidence that can take me through the day, just from a 40 minute practice. Imagine how I’d feel if I could put this in to motion during the challenges of every day life and more importantly, motherhood.
Looking for better ways to handle the tough moments with my little rebel, I read this article from Stress Free Kids on managing tantrums and meltdowns and immediately connected with this:
You don’t have to fix your child or the situation. All you have to do is stay present. Your child doesn’t even need the red cup, or whatever he’s crying for, he needs your loving acceptance of him, complete with all his tangled up feelings. His disappointment, rage, grief? They’re all ok, and they will all pass without you doing a thing.
What a relief it will be when I can truly get it through my head.
You don’t have to fix everything.
Stay present, this will all pass.
We and everything around us is in motion. Nothing is permanent, change is the only constant.
It’s a work in progress for me but I am trying.
Linking up again this week with the awesome crew at Yeah Write. If you haven’t been over yet, please visit the site and browse some of the other blogs there. I’ve discovered some amazing, talented, funny and heartfelt writers. I bet you will too!
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Great post!
When I started working out and had a little lapse I was close to just giving up again as well… I just wanted it to be a perfect commitment!
I got back on the wagon and it felt good.
I think it’s important to remember – as you write – that nothing is permanent and even bad moments will pass… Every moment is a new chance!
Yes! every moment is a new chance, I love that. I really try to see things that way too. Sticking with workouts is a total challenge – awesome you did not give up! Thanks so much for reading and the comments
I think we are too hard on ourselves when we fall off the wagon for anything… diet, exercise, etc….
What a great lesson, impermanence.
Visiting from Yeah, write – glad I found you
We are too hard on ourselves for sure, I’m starting to realize this is part of my problem as I write more about it. Impermanence really is my favorite lesson
Hope you have fun with Yeah Write this week – so many great blogs out there! Thanks so much for stopping by and the nice comment Lindsay!
Great reminder, even for non-moms like me. Thanks for posting this!
Thanks for reading Elizabeth, glad you liked it!
I love this post. Especially, “Nothing is permanent, good or bad. Nothing stays exactly the same or lasts forever. The only constant is change.” I need to make that my mantra! You’ve inspired me to find a yoga class (or tape).
Thank you so much Jennifer! It’s my mantra right now for sure, when I can remember it in those stressful moments anyway
I’m becoming a real yoga addict I think. I’ve never taken a class but love my dvd (Body by Bethany – Kristin McGee is a great instructor). Thanks again for the comment love 
Great post! I wish I were into yoga but I’ve tried it a few times…it is not for me. I do love exercise though.
How right about simply being present with your child when he’s going through these emotions….because this too shall pass. It took me almost 4 years to figure that one out with my son. He still is quite the ‘spirited’ child, exhausting me with his endless demands and freak outs but I’ve found if I just let him know that I ‘hear’ and understand what he’s saying it tends to help the trying situations. Not always but it’s a start.
I love that he’s a ‘spirited child’! I just say mine is wild – haha! I agree though, just letting them know they are heard and you are here for them really does help at times and also helps me not get so frustrated or freaked out myself. Like I said, work in progress for me. Thanks so much for reading and the nice comments!
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This is great advice!! Now, if only I could remember it during the meltdowns
Total challenge to remember when the sky is falling but it does help
Thanks so much for stopping by!
This is such a great philosophy for so many situations in life. Thanks for the reminder and the wisdom. I’ll take you words to heart during my next difficult day or situation.
Thanks so much for reading – absolutely, it can help with lots of difficult life situations, great for dealing with tantrums though too!
This is so very stunning, and such an amazing reminder.
(I needed this today. Thank you.)
Thanks so much for reading and for leaving a nice comment Galit! Really glad you liked this one
“You don’t have to fix your child or the situation. All you have to do is stay present.” Wow, what a freeing concept that is. I hope I can remember this. If not, I know where to come.
Ellen
I so love this concept, like being let out of jail. That is the hard part though (for me), remembering it when stressed or about to freak out
I’m working on it! Thanks so much Ellen!
Bah now all the moments of today are racing through my head… and I want a do over. But I know I can’t. Just have to try again tomorrow. The comparison to yoga was a good one for me. Also one of my favorite things to do but the more days in between classes the worse the class. Deep breaths help – in both situations.
All we can do is try, I think that alone counts for a lot. Yes – the more days in-between workouts is a killer. Sometimes, it’s the one thing that keeps me motivated, I know how sore I’ll be if I don’t stick with it! Thanks so much for reading Jamie!
So true. I really do try to keep calm and be present but sometimes I forget…..and those are the times I always remember and feel guilty about! I always try to ask myself WHY is the situation REALLY happening? And put it in perspective…..they’re 2 years old.
It is really hard to remember when the poop is hitting the fan! But it is worth it. And if it’ll keep from adding on any more mommy guilt, another plus! Thanks so much for reading Catherine.
Great insight. I often try to support my daughters in staying with their uncomfortable feelings with the understanding that the discomfort will pass. It’s an important concept, idea, or philosophy to embrace. I think not understanding this is at the root for parents giving into their kids and over-rewarding them…the parent’s inability to be uncomfortable with their kid’s discomfort in hearing “no”.
I have no idea if that made sense.
Good to hear you are being kind to yourself and have engaged in exercise again. You are an inspiration.
I totally agree with you, I think this was at the root of my problem of wanting to make it all stop as well. I was not ok at all with just waiting for the storm to pass during a tantrum or melt down. I’ve really been working on this though and things are so much better with my son and myself. That article at Stress Free Kids really helped as well. Thanks so much for reading Kim and leaving such a thoughtful comment. I am constantly inspired by your blog as well!
Great reminder, so eloquently put. Thank you. I needed this.
Thanks for reading Stacey!
I absolutely love the bits of advice. I think it helps that almost all of us can relate to the aching muscles of a workout. Even a week break from the habit can make things so much more difficult!
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post. Next time I’ll be sure to stay present, knowing it will all pass.
Yes, I’m always so aggravated about how only a 5 or 6 days away can feel like all your work from exercise gets derailed! I’m really glad you liked the post, thanks for reading David!
I love the analogy (is that the right word?) between yoga and child-rearing. Things can get difficult, and I love that you discuss impermanence. I will be taking this with me to see if the principle helps me as well. Thank you!
I love the lessons of impermanence, change can be scary but how great is it to know when things are going so wrong that it’s not going to last! Thanks for reading and for the nice words Laura.
I feel the same way about yoga every time I go back to it after an absence. But I find that staying the course, my body remembers and the aches feel like good aches again.
And the analogy with dealing with a child’s tantrums? Such a good way to look at it, thank you for sharing!
Yes – thankfully, in sticking with it, the body remembers and soon the practice is feeling good again
It’s really helped me deal with tough moments with my son as well, that’s for sure. Thank you so much for reading Alison!
“Just get on your mat and breathe…” I tell myself that sometimes when I’m in the middle of one of my kids melting down…and sometimes I can take my own advice and sometimes I can’t…but the thought persists and so I hope that eventually I will always be able to find that moment to breathe instead of REACT! With my older son (11), I’ve started talking about breathing, staying calm, finding a center…he gets it, a little, and I see him sometimes trying to do the same thing–to get on his mat and breathe. Guess that thousand-year old practice still has relevance, huh? Amazing.
“Just get on your mat and breathe” – I love it! That’s great you’ve actually talked about this with your older son as well. I hope it helps him too, wish I’d known more about this stuff when I was younger. Thank you for stopping by Deborah!
WHOA – I totally needed to read this today. I’ve been struggling with this same issue, particularly with tantrums and being more present instead of just so reactive! Yoga, you say? Hmmm. Maybe it’s time for me to get off my squishy ass and do some yoga. Thanks for the inspiration!
Thanks so much for reading Iris! I fall in to being reactive all the time, I’m such an emotional personal I have to really get myself under control so I can help the little one better but it’s working
Yep, I’m a big fan of the yoga, hope you will like it too!
Well, this post really resonated with me. I know I KNOW without a doubt that my kids read my energy. When I’m stressed, they feel it. When I’m upset–even without outward signs–they sense it. My husband and I both have noticed that when we handle situations with calm and clarity, low tones, and gentleness–it almost always diffuses the intensity and brings our kids back down too. But we aren’t perfect. SO far from it. We’re getting better though at managing our own emotions for ourselves and for our children
I’ve only done yoga once in a class. I loved it. I’m hoping to give it another try when I’ve got some more time on my hands.
I really feel like my son reads my energy too! Like someone he knows when I’m a little off, feeling low energy or frustrated about things. Managing out own emotions is the key. The softer, calm approach is so good for everyone….no one’s gong to get to perfectly right 100% of the time but it’s so nice how much more calm and peaceful things can be. Thanks so much for reading Sarah!