It’s Not You (Preschool), It’s Me

young boy on his way in to school

Thoughts of sending my son to preschool this fall has been on my mind for most of this year.

Our past experiences with daycare didn’t go so well, but the idea of preschool with more of an atmosphere and focus on learning as well as play sits so much better with me and I feel like my son could really thrive there.

And as much as I get out and about with my son as much as possible during the week; trips to the library, playing at parks, etc., I don’t have mommy friends of my own where we live with kids my son can play with on a regular basis.

I want him to have friends, feel more comfortable with other kids his age and just having more fun overall.

So I was pretty surprised at how things went when we visited an awesome little preschool the other day, very close to our home and with the exact schedule and price range I’ve been looking for.

The visit went well, really well actually. My usually painfully shy son took a few minutes to warm up but then left my side and started playing with toys, making conversation with the director and was very happy and content.

What was the surprise? Me! It was me, I was the one who was a nervous wreck!

I asked the director lots of tough questions, walked around in the classrooms and observed the teachers on the playground, watching and listening closely to how they talked to and dealt with them.

And I have to say, the school and faculty seems awesome!

But I was really thrown off by my own reactions. I was “that mom”, explaining nervously to teachers and the director that I’d been home with my son pretty much since he was born so he may need extra time or help transitioning and how is the first week handled and how long can I stay with him at first?

Wow. What is my deal? It’ll only be 3 mornings a week about 5 minutes from where we live.

I’ve been looking forward to this for both of us. Half days at school to learn and make friends and play while I actually have a few hours to myself. Hours! What am I even going to do with myself?

But staring in the face of my dream scenario, my stomach was a ball of nerves, hands clenched, feeling nervous and scared.

After talking with the director in one of the class rooms, we went outside to where the summer camp kids were playing. My son went right for the sandbox, filling up the back of a dump truck and spilling it back out, over and over. The teachers were actually walking around with the kids, swinging and playing with them. It was a beautiful sight.

When it was time to go, my son did not want to leave. First thing the next morning, he asked when he can go back to school.

His reaction has far exceeded my expectations and I am more than a little happy and excited for him. I have no doubt, he’s going to do great this fall at preschool.

As for me, I’ll try to remain calm, think about the quiet time I’ve been craving for so long and just know that when the teacher has to forcibly remove me from the classroom that first week, it really is for the best.

This is my first ever Secret Mommy-hood Confessions post, hosted by Kimberly at I think I’m going to like it here!

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14 thoughts on “It’s Not You (Preschool), It’s Me

  1. I’ve been thinking about this exact thing for my toddler! I’ve been feeling anxious about the same things you wrote about here.

    BUT, since the baby’s been born (just over a month now), I think more and more that preschool will be good. For him, for me, for his little brother.

    I’ve just sent an email enquiry to a preschool near us (5 mins drive away!) and hoping to hear back and do a tour soon. I’m actually excited now!

    And so glad your little guy is excited too about school – yay!

    • It’s so nerve wracking, isn’t it? I guess my reaction is pretty common, I just sort of surprised myself with how nervous and clingy I got all of a sudden – haha! I think preschool with be great though, I hope your tour goes well and your son loves the one close to you too. Just a few hours, a few days a week could really be good for you, baby and toddler, just as you said. Good luck – can’t wait to hear about how it goes!

  2. Oh I so relate. We had to sign up my son this past February and I literally cried the entire time. Yes I am a vagina like that.
    Thing is, his school has switched to full day every day. Yes, my just turned 4 year old will be going to school full time. I don’t agree with it.
    When we brought him to the open house, he just seamlessly fit in with all the kids.
    I think that we both need this. It doesn’t make the sting of them growing up any less though.
    Where does the time go?!
    So happy that you linked up!!! And meeting you!

    • Wow – full days every day? That does seem like a lot but I guess the kids do fine. Now they just need to have some kind of mom workshop to help us ease in to this whole process – lol! That’s awesome your son seemed to just fit right in, I hope he loves it. I know the first week or two will be an adjustment for me and probably my son as well but I am looking forward to it. Time to walk through the fear! Great to meet you as well – looking forward to reading and learning more about you Kim 🙂

  3. This is a scary scary time for all involved but it almost always goes much more smoothly than you anticipate. Also for all involved. We want our children to be liked and loved and taught and cared for and respected… and I think, most of all appreciated. Appreciated for the perfectly imperfect little creatures they are. That we created. Its a reflection of us, really. You two will do awesome at it!

    • Thanks so much Jamie! This is so true, we want them to be loved and understood and respected. While knowing the teachers don’t know him and understand all the little things about him like I do, I have to trust my son will still be well cared for. And it’s a chance for him to have so many new experiences and learn so much. It’s the beginning of learning to let go, which is hard but I think it’ll be awesome as well 🙂

  4. My son took some adjustment to preschool in the beginning. He got used to it. Two years later, where we live, they started full-day kindergarten for the first time. This was a HUGE transition. I’m a SAHM and so he went from being with me all the time except for a few mornings in preschool, to suddenly being away from me & his brother 5 days a week from 9-3! Even teachers told me it’s too much for them. Add in the fact that I was staying home with his little brother…Again, he’s gotten used to it and is such a social butterfly. Now with just 3 weeks of the school year to go, I’m looking so forward to hanging out with him all summer long! (I say that now – haha!)

    Visiting from Kim’s linkup. 🙂

    • I’m really surprised to hear about the full days at such a young age! I’m really glad your son got used to it and sounds like he did great. Where my son is going will be 3 days a week for about 3 hours a day so I think it’ll be ok. I was so happy he was asking when he could start going so I’m sure he’ll get used to it faster than I will 🙂 Hope your summer goes great, I’m sure it’ll be fun having him home full days again. Thanks so much for reading Jill!

    • I know I will be that way as well, so excited to pick him up and hear about his day. 2 or 3 half days a week I think is a good way to start, for the kids and us moms as well – haha! Thanks so much for reading!

  5. Late to the party again!

    We really struggle with how much time to send our son. So many of the moms (even the SAHM) send their kids to school full days starting at 3 in NYC. I just can’t bare the thought of it!! I opted for 5 days, 3 hours a day. I really wanted to do just 3 days but then again it will be good to have some time just for my little girl (poor thing has never known a minute of uninterrupted mommy time).

    I feel your pain Anna, but you are so right – it will be great for both of you!!!!

    • Wow, I can’t get over the full days thing but if I was working full time, my son would have to be in daycare all day so…..but yes, I like the idea of just doing mornings as well. That will be really nice for you and your daughter to have that time together as well and I bet these boys will love all the new things they get to do and learn and the new friends they make. This mommy stuff ain’t for sissies, that’s for sure – haha! It’s so hard when you love and want to protect them so much. Maybe we can compare notes in the fall 🙂 Thanks so much for reading Carinn!

    • I can’t wait to see that smile and have him happy and excited to talk about what he did at school that day 🙂 As nervous as I am, I’m also really excited for him as well. You are right, even though I was a little surprised at my own reaction to preschool, it’s probably totally common for us moms. Thanks so much for reading Stasha!

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