In The Ebb And Flow

Lou walking accross a bridge at the park play area

I was kind of surprised when I realized a week had passed since I’d written a new post.

In the past, this is something I would get upset, feel badly about and possibly beat myself up over. I would worry, will everyone forget about my little space here? Will people think I’ve abandoned my blog?

But if I’m really honest, I can admit much of my discomfort came from comparing myself to others. I have not been at this very long but I still don’t understand how some have time to post every single day without fail and still others – several times a day!

I have to remind myself not worry about it and remember what I’m doing this for, what it’s really all about, what’s important to me today and what I can control (which is very, very little).

Because I do have weeks when things just jive. I can’t stop writing and my blog is consistently up to date, offering up new content and brimming with ideas. But some days and weeks, not so much.

Just as there are good times and bad in life, easy days and really difficult ones, the ebb and flow are natural and never ending.

And the bad times or difficult days don’t automatically mean failure or rejection. So ridiculous. But I can’t be the only one ever feeling insecure about these things, can I?

And the truth is, I’m not short on ideas. Actually, I have a running list right now of notes for future posts, points of inspiration and things I want to write about. But it’s going to take time. And time for me to really think, write and edit just has not worked out this week.

But there have been good reasons for my absence.

Although I don’t have children suddenly out of school like so many others, it seemed like we did feel a little shift and this week got a whole lot busier.

Lots of this:
playing in the back yard

And this:

eating ice cream at the park

Nicely played, ice cream truck at the park

Bedtime has been nicer this week; worn out from long days of playing, there has been little if any fighting from the little one. As for me, as soon as my head hits the pillow, I’ve been instantly asleep.

And I’ve had a great week with Lou. His level of language and play seems to have grown overnight. Even his behavior has been better than usual and in a very proud moment, he conquered a fear he’s had about waking over a certain bridge at one of the parks we go to and I got to witness his relief and pride and happiness.

All big, great stuff!

  • My blog and writing are important to me.
  • My son is important.
  • Days at the park and playing outside are important.
  • Having fun in the summer and eating ice cream is important. Very important.

Every time I realize I’ve been too much of a perfectionist, all-or-nothing about something and then release it to embrace the space and flow of everything around me I can’t control and don’t really have the wisdom to anyway, things feel so much better.

So, no more beating myself up about time and updates and comments and comparisons. If I know what is important, I know there is room for all of it, in the ebb and flow.

6 thoughts on “In The Ebb And Flow

  1. Love it!!! I was feeling the same way, having not posted in awhile due to the move, wondering if people will forget about me or get annoyed or move on. You summed it up here so well. Sometimes you just have to be present and go where life takes you!

    Sounds like you have been enjoying yourself – good for you! Nothing to feel bad about there.

    • One of the best feelings is when I’m reminded I’m not alone with something I’m feeling or worried about – so I’m glad you understood and could relate :) It has been a really fun week, busy but great. I love your thoughts, sometimes you do just have to be present and go where life takes you. Thanks so much Carinn!

  2. Sometimes there are more important things to do that write posts. :)

    Glad he has conquered some fears and life gets a bit easier as their communication improves.

    • Yes, communication makes things easier for sure. It is great, watching him reach milestones, overcome fears and discover new, fun things! I think all moms and parents struggle at times with making time for themselves and doing things that make them happy as well as taking care of family, this blog is one of my “feel happy” things I wrestle with time and balance with. Thanks so much for reading Robbie!

  3. you took the words right out of my mouth. I can often post everyday if I really want to…..but you’ll find that not all of them are long, or remotely “deep and thoughtful” posts. There might be 2 of those a week, and the rest is just for fun. Tonight’s took all of 10 minutes – it was just fun and easy……and all us mom’s can use a bit of that everywhere in our life!

    • I love those too, the fun and easy posts are awesome! This one didn’t take too long actually – haha! It’s always a challenge for me, finding time and looking for that perfect balance of everything I want or feel like I need to do as well as taking care of everyone else and all the day to day stuff. I think for me, there is no perfect balance and I just have to accept it and know that it’s ok :) Thanks so much for reading Rory!

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