I’ve been slowly re-reading one of my favorite books and came across this passage that was the perfect reminder for me right now.
Asking ourselves Where am I going? we might speculate on what the world holds in store for us. We imagine the world outside us providing events and developments that determine our capacity for happiness. What truly determines our ability to be happy , however, are our responses, attitudes and beliefs about these external events. While we cannot always control external events, we can control our reactions to them for we can choose our thoughts. So, our karma is, for the most part, in our own hands.
– Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children by Sarah Napthali
The past week was a struggle that I ultimately had to give in to to avoid becoming really upset. I continue to get frustrated at times with finding the time and energy to do everything I want or feel like I need to do. I often get impatient and daydream of the “perfect” set of circumstances.
We imagine the world outside us providing events and developments that determine our capacity for happiness.
If I could just have “xyz” or if my son would just do this or if I could just rearrange things this certain way, then I’d be so much happier, life would be easier, etc.
Does the perfect set of circumstances or situation even exist? And thank God I can’t control everything. I’m human, I don’t know enough and I make mistakes.
What truly determines our ability to be happy , however, are our responses, attitudes and beliefs about these external events.
Still, because I keep wrestling with this, there must be more lessons here or I’m just not grasping what I’m suppose to be getting out of the experience. I have realized I can be very impatient and somewhat of a control freak so maybe that’s what I need to do some letting go of.
But wow, it is hard.
I will say, it feels really good when I’m not worried or thinking too much and just allow myself to “be”, in the moment without planning or stressing.
While we cannot always control external events, we can control our reactions to them.
Going forward in to the last few weeks of summer vacation before preschool starts, focusing on acceptance, patience and trying to live in the moment will my mantra for now.