Keep Calm And Write Something

Image Source – Pinterest of course!

Right now, I’m really glad I’m at my computer working on this post.

But I also don’t want to be here. I really want to be sitting on the couch or propped up in bed, reading the new book I got today.

I know this sounds weird, please allow me to explain.

Since the beginning of the year, something has been off. I have not been writing very much and in fact, have not felt like doing anything, especially in the evenings which is some of the only free time I have, so I’ve been trying to figure out the cause.

Then today I stopped by Sperk* and read her latest post, Off The Cuff.

Kim at Sperk* is beautiful, intelligent and deeply insightful. Reading her talk about being stuck in old behaviors kind of made things click for me.

I was extremely sick for almost the entire month of December and spend most of my time in bed, drinking hot tea and reading a book and/or ebook. The times I was able to sit up and just read for a while were some of the only times I felt better or at least, got some relief.

Once I was well, I kept trying to get back to some of the normal activities I loved and looked forward to but kept feeling stuck, especially when it came to writing. It’s been very off and on.

Then, last month, our whole family got hit with the flu. It was bad. Really bad.

Once again, I was back in bed, too sick to even watch tv but I could drink tea and occasionally read.

I didn’t realize the strong habit that was forming.

Please understand, I don’t think there is anything at all wrong with relaxing and getting lost in a good book. I will be reading later on this evening, I can assure you.

But I really do want to get back to writing. I have an idea for a short story, a book idea and a few more blog posts. It’s the will and the desire I’m lacking.

I am out of the habit.

Earlier today I Googled, “how many days does it take to make a new habit”. What I had always heard was, after a few weeks of repetition, things begin to become ingrained and a habit is formed. However, what I found today were several articles stating the 21 day rule is a myth.

From what I read (ok, skimmed at times), it sounds like the timeline to create a new habit varies for people, sometimes depending on what you want to do but starting with very small changes and celebrating your efforts is the path to success.

So tonight, after I read my son his bedtime stories, I went to the kitchen and made my tea and then came into my “office” to sit at the computer and write instead of landing on the couch with my iPhone and book.

It’s embarrassing to admit but it’s uncomfortable, sitting here, writing this. But it’s only day one.

Change is hard. It is uncomfortable. It takes effort but also requires some ease from within. If I can relax and accept what this feels like, just breath and be and not run from it, that’s a success in itself.

Nothing is permanent, everything is changing all the time, even us. We can create the habits we want to see in our lives.

My hope is simply that this will help me sit more and get some of my ideas out. I hope it helps me devote more time to this blog and also to some of my other ideas.

For now, my goal is just to stay calm and write something.

Next challenge – getting back to a regular schedule with yoga!


2 comments on “Habits

  • Oh I totally get this! First, let me say that I am so sorry you were sick for so long. This seemed like a really rough season for a lot of people and I am sorry you suffered.

    As for the rest, I REALLY get it. I know my schedule is going to be a little off for the next few days – travel, kids, etc. – and so I am refusing to sit down and write. It feels terrible. I want to, but I am out of practice. Have you read Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit? One of my favorite books of all time. So inspirational and encouraging.

    • I will have to check out that book, I have not read it but it sounds good! It’s so hard when things get off track and there’s lots going on – I’m glad I’m not alone on this one. I hope the next few days are good for you though and hope you have an awesome Mother’s Day! Thanks so much for reading Carinn!

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