Putting a Ring On It – Does It Really Matter?

husband and wife, just married

I’m usually behind on celebrity gossip so I’m sure you’ve already heard all the hoopla about Halle Berry expecting baby number two. “So what’s the big deal” is what I was thinking until I read that she is 46 years old!

Yowza sister!

But the thing I’ve been wondering about is, if others take issue or have any opinion about her unmarried status.

As early on as I can remember, I always pictured myself as a mother. I never had any doubts that it was a part of what I wanted and who I was suppose to be. For some time, I pictured myself with many children, living in a happy, loving relationship.

But not married. That part I could not even imagine. I also thought and felt, it didn’t matter and wasn’t something I needed.

Rolling Goldie Hawn – Kurt Russell style, that’s what I used to say anyway.

To my own surprise, I did end up getting married. I’ve actually done it twice now. The first time, at the court house. The second time, in a beautiful backyard ceremony.

Hopefully I will never have to consider this in reality but I don’t think there would ever be a third time for me. It just doesn’t feel right.

Halle Berry has also married twice and was also pretty young the first time around. Since she is famous and we all know way too much about the personal lives of actors, I know she’s had some rough times with men. I know she’s been deeply hurt as well as cheated on. And who knows, she has probably dished out her share of heartache as well. Haven’t we all?

So I can understand her falling in love, being happy, having children and not getting married. Maybe someday she will but if not, I totally get it and don’t think there is anything wrong with it.

The bottom line for me has always been, the person and relationship I’m in is far more important than ceremonies or rituals.

I do understand and have respect for the sanctity of marriage but have never completely understood all the pressure around it.

Because I also believe, marriage is a promise, not a guarantee.

It’s a public declaration as well as a serious vow of commitment between two people but it does not mean if you get married, it will be forever and everything will work out great and you’ll never be hurt or have bad times.

Maybe that’s why 50% of married couples today end up divorced. (Don’t quote me but I think that’s the statistic I heard).

Maybe we need to be talking more about the real deal with marriage and relationships in general instead of watching young women bridezilla their friends and families, freak out about having the most expensive and lavish dress/ceremony/flowers, etc. and then suffer through shock, dismay, blame and denial once the honeymoon is over and shit gets real.

I loved my second wedding and did have moments of stress and nervousness around all the planning and preparation but always in the back of mind, I knew none of it really mattered and wasn’t going to last. What was important was my husband and what we had between us.

I hope Halle has found someone awesome this time around. I hope they can treat each other with respect, kindness, consideration and truly love and cherish each other and the family they will have together.

For this to happen, it will be a matter of character, hearts and will. Getting married will just be icing on cake.

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