Changes

beautiful women with butterflies flying from her hand outside

I’ve talked about change many times before, the fact that change is happening all around us, within us and that change is the only constant in life.

It’s something I used to be very resistant to. Change was (and still can be) scary. It’s unpredictable. It reminds me of how little I have control over and at times, how much I don’t know.

But a few months ago, I started wishing for change. Big change. More than wanting and needing it, I have absolutely been craving change from way down deep.

It had been building for a while but seemed to really come to the surface this summer. I felt stuck, like my feet were sinking in deep mud.
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Putting a Ring On It – Does It Really Matter?

husband and wife, just married

I’m usually behind on celebrity gossip so I’m sure you’ve already heard all the hoopla about Halle Berry expecting baby number two. “So what’s the big deal” is what I was thinking until I read that she is 46 years old!

Yowza sister!

But the thing I’ve been wondering about is, if others take issue or have any opinion about her unmarried status.

As early on as I can remember, I always pictured myself as a mother. I never had any doubts that it was a part of what I wanted and who I was suppose to be. For some time, I pictured myself with many children, living in a happy, loving relationship.

But not married. That part I could not even imagine. I also thought and felt, it didn’t matter and wasn’t something I needed.

Rolling Goldie Hawn – Kurt Russell style, that’s what I used to say anyway.

To my own surprise, I did end up getting married. I’ve actually done it twice now. The first time, at the court house. The second time, in a beautiful backyard ceremony.
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Habits

Keep Calm And Write Something
Image Source – Pinterest of course!

Right now, I’m really glad I’m at my computer working on this post.

But I also don’t want to be here. I really want to be sitting on the couch or propped up in bed, reading the new book I got today.

I know this sounds weird, please allow me to explain.

Since the beginning of the year, something has been off. I have not been writing very much and in fact, have not felt like doing anything, especially in the evenings which is some of the only free time I have, so I’ve been trying to figure out the cause.

Then today I stopped by Sperk* and read her latest post, Off The Cuff.
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Having It All

my attempt at a home office

I was flipping through a magazine while waiting in line at the grocery store the other day and saw yet another article on women and “having it all”. Nope, I didn’t read it. Because I can’t stand this debate or any more of these articles.

My issue is, isn’t “having it all” a completely personal and individual thing? Don’t we all have our own goals and ideals? And even just different things in life that make us happy? What might be a dream situation to me could make someone else completely miserable and vice versa.

The other thing is, I feel like some of these articles can add to setting yet another impossible standard and making women feel like they are not doing enough, achieving enough, being enough, etc.

Is there something always lacking?

I don’t know about that but I do believe the picture of perfect portrayed a lot of times is bullshit.
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What The Prom Girls Taught Me About Self Love

Love Every Bit Of Yourself

Love Every Bit Of Yourself

For the past few weeks, there has been a big increase in activity in the formal dress department at work due to all the school proms coming up.

Although it’s a lot of work, I’ve enjoyed working these departments. The dressing rooms get trashed and you have triple the amount of clothes to straighten, hang and get back out on the floor but it’s been really fun watching these girls come in and model dresses for their parent, friends and selves. Even better, the look on their face when they walk up to the counter with “the one” slung over their arm, ready to make the big purchase.

One of the happier things that surprised me from the shifts I’ve worked so far is the amount of fathers bringing their daughters, patiently waiting on big couches outside the dressing rooms and the kindness of some of the comments I would overhear as they gave fatherly opinions or even vetoed a dress as soon as they saw it.

I know what some of them were thinking, “Yea, I remember when I was a teenage boy and you are not wearing that dress!” aka too short, too revealing, etc. I don’t blame them at all.

It almost brought tears to my eyes, hearing one of the dads I had been helping earlier, when he reminded his daughter, “we have plenty of time. Remember, you need to really love it.” Mind you, this was after the sixth or seventh dress she tried on. My own heart swelled.

Unfortunately, the other things I heard were far less happy, loving or kind and came from the girls themselves.
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Happiness in Pairs

Happy Spring – although it doesn’t feel like it here in our 30 – 40 degree weather (and did I mention, we are expecting a possible 10 inches of snow on Sunday?)…..but now that it’s officially spring time and the sun seems to be shining through the clouds a little more often, I feel some of the fog and heaviness lifting.

To help along this lightening of spirits, I’ve been thinking of ways to take the time to see the beauty of right now and appreciate what I have and what is instead of what I wish, want or think should be – which really is, at times, the entire cause of unhappiness and unease.

In the spirit of this, I decided to share some of the little things I’m thankful for and that make me smile these days. Oddly enough, I noticed they are all in pairs.

Not sure what that means for now but like it.
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Honoring My Family, Healing The Past

Family holding hands together

I’ve always felt I had a “complicated” family and upbringing if not just plain nontraditional, difficult and really tough at times. But, the more I learn about others, life itself and the illusions we confuse sometimes as normal or what’s suppose to be, I’m thinking things really may not be so unusual after all and certainly could have been a lot worse.

For the past year, I’ve proudly been contributing each month to Kim at Sperk* for Wednesday’s Woman, her awesome dedication to shine a light on positive and inspirational women. In all this time, I’ve never written about anyone personal or from my own life.

Although I actually am a pretty private person, for some reason this pained me a little and I found myself really wanting to share something more personal, closer to my own heart.

And if I know my own mind, it was probably because I didn’t think I could.
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The Power Of Numbers And Making Your Own Rules

Please allow me to apologize and/or warn you in advance, I try to keep things on a very positive vibe on this blog and will continue to in the future but in all honesty, I’ve been going through a lot the past couple of months and well, things just aren’t good. I’ve stayed away but miss writing and at the same time, want to keep the honesty and authenticity I started off with.

I love being a Pisces but being so sensitive of nature also means the hurts run deep and you seem to feel things so strongly it’s almost too much at times. I don’t think I’d ever change it, but – wow sometimes. If you’re not familiar with the sign, this description is very fitting:

Pisces is the twelfth sign of the zodiac, and it is also the final sign in the zodiacal cycle. Hence, this sign brings together many of the characteristics of the eleven signs that have come before it. Pisces, however, are happiest keeping many of these qualities under wraps. These folks are selfless, spiritual and very focused on their inner journey. They also place great weight on what they are feeling. Yes, feelings define Pisces, and it’s not uncommon for them to feel their own burdens (and joys) as well as those of others. The intuition of the Pisces-born is highly evolved. Many people associate Pisces with dreams and secrets, and it’s a fair association, since those born under this sign feel comfortable in an illusory world. – Astrology.com

The following post is what I’m feeling. Much more positivity to come friends but right now, this is just where I’m at.
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The Beautiful Truth

The other night, I caught a headline about a model who gave an interesting Ted Talk on beauty and the modeling industry. Of course I was curious and had to watch it. If you have not yet, here you go!

While it’s not my favorite Ted Talk, I really appreciated a lot of what Cameron Russell had to say and especially, the pictures she shared of the way she looks in real life next to her modeling pictures.

So much of what we see is illusion, so much of what we are told is untrue, stated as fact to sell a product or trigger a reaction.

You need this new product so people will think you’re pretty and popular because if you’re pretty and popular you will be happy and never have any problems and will always feel loved and adored.

Sadly, a lot of these lies and illusions have been seemly integrated in to our society and subconscious as a reality and truth.

And in my opinion, they do nothing but cause pain and break us down. They can even deny us the peace, happiness and contentment that is our natural state and right.
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